During the Jan. 9-11 Open Space event, participants were invited to suggest topics
for discussion.These topics form the basis of the conversation during the time
together. Below find a few of the topics and notes from the discussions.
Time for a Mennonite Brethren Truth and Reconciliation Commission?
This group discussed whether or not apologies were owed to LGBTQ+ people and their allies. This could include those who lost jobs because they advocated for LGBTQ+ people.
It was suggested that might only work if it was accompanied by a time of truth-telling, a type of Truth and Reconciliation Commission. (“What’s the body count?”)
Before a TRC-like event could happen, the bleeding has to first stop, people have to stop being traumatized.
Gentle Relentless Pressure
This breakout group met to talk about the best strategy to move the conversation about LGBTQ+ welcome and inclusion forward. It was suggested the best approach is “gentle, relentless pressure” on Mennonite Brethren conference leadership in Canada.
The most effective way to do that, it was suggested, was through the telling of personal stories, including stories of how members of the LGBTQ+ community have been harmed by the church.
Bringing about change could take a long time, but it was noted the conversation against slavery went on for a long time, too.
At the same time, it was noted nothing can stop this conversation from happening. It is growing across Canada and beyond.
It was suggested this won’t always be effective. Conference leaders feel trapped. And some will interpret it as persecution and see themselves as “defenders of the faith.”
It was also suggested that similar Open Space events should be held across the country, in each province where there is a Mennonite Brethren provincial conference.
In the end, it was concluded a peaceful, gentle approach is best, and to trust that the Spirit is moving when it comes to this topic.
Should the discussion about marriage be limited to same sex marriage?
This group talked about whether the conversation should be broadened beyond the form of marriage to ask about the point and value of marriage is—to move the conversation beyond whether it is traditional or same-sex. What about committed relationships of any kind? Can they be supported and affirmed, too?
It was suggested that by focusing on the specifics of marriage (who can be married), the church focuses on the wrong thing. It should focus on the value of marriage itself, of mutually fulfilling relationships.
This has implications for the Confession of Faith, which has a focus on the form of marriage. Why not just promote the value of marriage without saying who it should be between?
It might also be time to develop a theology of friendship; the church has bought so much into the nuclear family, putting a lot of pressure on people and on marriage. We need more relations with other people. Can we rethink definition of family? Can it also be about connection, relationship and emotional support?
It was noted that the emphasis on marriage by the church has also led to incidents where abuse in marriage has been tolerated—abuses perpetuated by theology.
It was also noted the Bible itself has different definitions of marriage, including polygamous relationships.
Dealing with Triangles
In this breakout group, the discussion centred around Edwin Friedman’s idea about triangles—the idea that in any discussion there are at least three groups or people present.
In the discussion about LGBTQ+ welcome and affirmation, the three groups present for Open Space are participants in Open Space, conference leadership and LGBTQ+ people and their families. It was noted there is a power differential among the three levels.
It was also noted the term “conference leadership” is more ambiguous than would appear: conference leadership is not unanimous and contains its own triangles.
The goal is to understand the triangulation and then build trust between the points. This involves finding commonalities, e.g. that all trust Jesus.
Conversation is key. This could be one-on-one or between groups. One idea is to send representatives from Open Space to talk to conference leaders.
In thinking about conference leadership, it was noted the culture is moving at a pace that is difficult for leadership to keep up with.
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