Friday, January 27, 2023

River East pastor Mary Anne Isaak summoned for a review of her pastoral credentials

On January 25, Mary Anne Isaak, pastor of River East Church in Winnipeg, appeared before the Provincial Faith and Life Team (PFLT) of the Mennonite Brethren Church of Manitoba (MBCM) for a review of her pastoral credentials. 

More information to follow. 


Sunday, January 22, 2023

River East Church sends letter to Manitoba Mennonite Brethren Conference expressing its affirmation for LGBTQ+ persons and same-sex marriage

 

In mid-January, the Leadership Commission of River East Church, a Mennonite Brethren church in Winnipeg, sent a letter to the Mennonite Brethren Church of Manitoba (MBCM) and the Provincial Faith and Life Team (PFLT) affirming its support for LGBTQ+ persons and for same-sex marriage.

In sending the letter, the Leadership Commission indicated it “may put us in the category of ‘not in good standing' and a spot on the agenda (along with Jubilee Church) for the MBCM annual meeting March 3-4.” The MBCM board is meeting January 23 to discuss the River East letter.

The letter is below.


A Response to MBCM Board and PFLT

First, we are grateful to the MBCM board and the PFLT for walking this path with us. We thank Jason in particular for attending so many of our meetings to try to understand our motivation and process. And we appreciate your patience as COVID disrupted our ability to meet in person to continue our discussions about our Inclusivity Statement. 

Your request to us is included here for clarity’s sake: 

We expect REC to provide a clear response to the PFLT’s questions by January 31, 2022. 

As a reminder, here are the initial questions from January 18, 2021.              

    Do you have intent to do anything that disagrees with our shared confession?

    What do you mean by ‘full participation?’ Have you worked this out?

     Are you willing to work with us on this journey?

     Is REC able to affirm our shared understanding of the MB Confession of Faith in regard to Article 11? “Marriage is a covenant relationship intended to unite a man and a woman for life...Sexual intimacy rightfully takes place only within marriage.

Stories. So many stories. Stories of rejection. Stories of hurt. Stories of being hated. People kicked out of families. Sibling against sibling. Parents against a child. People no longer welcome in churches. People forced into unhealthy lives and relationships because they are ostracized. People with no choice of a committed long-term relationship within a church setting.

Churches have done wrong.

But there are stories of hope. Stories of being loved. Stories of being accepted without conditions. Stories of families reuniting. Sibling accepting sibling and finding forgiveness. Churches accepting people without limits. People entering committed relationships blessed by the church.

Churches can and must do better.

River East Church is trying to enable stories of hope. Our Statement of Inclusivity is broad, yet probably not broad enough. The statement is a goal and we know it’s a goal we’ll never quite achieve. The statement is a challenge to REC congregants to learn, and grow, and act; to break out of a status of fear and enter a posture of love and acceptance.

MBCM is concerned about only a part of our statement; the part that refers to gender identity and sexual orientation. We acknowledge that and the fear and confusion that surrounds this. But the REC focus is broader than this and we do not want to be limited by this. Our main areas of action right now are reconciliation, peace, homelessness, and climate change.

Where does the gender identity part come from? REC has been talking about, trying to understand the science about, praying about, and studying scripture about these ideas for over 20 years. We feel Spirit led to take on this challenge. We have been wrong to ostracize people with different ideas of gender identity or sexual orientation. We all experience some fear in the face of change. REC is no different. LGBTQ+ inclusion marks a change to our worldview and many feel it challenges the Confession of Faith. We need to remind ourselves that the CoF is a changing document; the clauses about gender identity were only added in 1999 as a reaction to other issues at the time. We know more now than we did then, and some of the authors of those changes to the CoF now regret putting in those limitations. We also know that many MBCM churches are out of alignment with aspects of the CoF that they feel are dated or don’t apply to their congregation. Is it better to ignore the CoF and just not say anything or to be honest about places where there is a rub?

REC affirms the CoF and affirms our intent to include same-sex marriage and LGBTQ+ leadership. We agree that marriage is for life and that sexual intimacy should be within marriage. Since intimacy should be within marriage we believe that same-sex marriage for life should also be an option since not all LGBTQ+ persons will choose to be celibate.

This affirmation comes after a lengthy discussion process. MBCM leadership has been working with us during the whole process by attending congregational meetings, and having groups meet with our leadership team. Some churches partially align with the CoF and they extend (or diminish) their understanding of each of the articles. Perhaps we can recognize that although we are all part of the conference we all play different roles within that structure and value certain ideals more than others.

So to be clear about what we meant.  When you look at the groups of people we identified, REC will invite all people to worship with us, provide leadership, teach our children, baptize and marry in accordance with our regular discernment of gifts process. We will not treat people differently. Full participation means full participation. As long as people are on the journey of discipleship in Jesus Christ they are included.

With warm regards, Reynold Redekopp, Moderator, River East Church

Friday, January 20, 2023

Full letter from North Kildonan Mennonite Brethren Church about Jubilee Mennonite Church and its decision on LGBTQ+

 

With permission from NKMB, their full letter to their members about Jubilee Mennonite Church is printed below. 

Hello NKMB members, 

I would like to inform NKMB members of recent developments in the MB Conference of Manitoba (MBCM) regarding the topic of endorsing LGBTQ+ practices in its member churches. I realize that this is a contentious topic, as it affects many families at NKMB in various ways. 

To begin with, I would like to plainly state that our goal at NKMB is to make everyone feel welcome and to not single any particular person out. We believe that all of us start off as broken, sinful people, in need of Jesus’s saving grace. (1) But our stories don’t end there, we believe that in Jesus we have been redeemed and given a new identity as children of God. (2) And this is regardless of sexual orientation or gender expression. We strive to seek truth in a humble fashion, and I hope that is evident by the action items proposed at the end of this letter. 

I would like to start off by sharing events that are happening in the MBCM community with regards to Jubilee Mennonite Church, followed by the views of NKMB leadership and then some next steps proposed for all NKMB members. 

Jubilee Mennonite Church and MBCM 

In June 2022, Jubilee Mennonite Church (founded in 1995 as a dual-conference congregation belonging to both MBCM and Mennonite Church Manitoba) released an official statement affirming LGBTQ+ practices. Their statement, which includes the officiating of same-sex marriages, is posted on its website. Jubilee was then notified by MBCM that its statement fails to adhere to the Canadian Conference of Mennonite Brethren Churches (CCMBC) Confession of Faith article 11 by not upholding the definition of marriage as exclusive to a man and woman for life. Because of this, they have been suspended by MBCM as of October 3rd, 2022. 

At a MBCM council of representatives meeting on November 19th, (a regional meeting held in between annual assemblies) member congregations were informed by conference moderator Dave Enns, that the MBCM board will follow the process of suspension and removal as outlined in the constitution article 3, section 3. I have summarized the constitutional process as follows: 

1.    The Provincial Faith and Life Team (PFLT) sends the congregation in question a written notice with a reason for the proposed suspension.

2.    After giving the congregation time to respond, the congregation is suspended by resolution of MBCM board.

3.    The PFTL then reviews the circumstances of the case and recommends to either reinstate or revoke membership.

4.    If the recommendation is to revoke membership, then the MBCM board proceeds to recommend a special resolution to do that at the next Assembly of Congregations.

We understand that MBCM has completed step 3, and that the MBCM board will proceed to hold the special resolution to revoke Jubilee Mennonite’s membership at Assembly 2023, taking place on March 3 and 4. 

What does NKMB believe? 

NKMB council and staff stand by the Mennonite Brethren Confession of Faith. We agree that for believers, marriage is exclusive to one male and one female and that sexual intimacy rightfully only takes place in marriage. Both our MBCM and CCMBC leadership teams are in full agreement with this and have no intention of pursuing a change. And this, after holding two consecutive study conferences on the matter. In order to assist member congregations, the National Faith and Life Team has produced a document to explain why it is committed to upholding its marriage values. (3) 

We understand that decision to remove a member congregation from our denomination is not something that is to be taken quickly or without serious consideration. However, Jubilee has been clear that they understand their decision is in contradiction to the confession and have indicated that they have unanimous support from their members. Therefore, we think the best course of action for both them and MBCM is to have an amicable separation. (4) 

Incidentally, the Mennonite Church of Manitoba has given Jubilee full support and has welcomed them to stay in their denomination. We think that a peaceful division gives them the freedom to worship in a manner that they best see fit and allows the remaining MBCM churches to seek ways to minister and care for the LGBTQ+ community with compassion and love that is consistent with scripture. We believe the scriptures offer hope and redemption to all people, regardless of LGBTQ+ status, and that Jesus offers a new identity in Him. Staying in fellowship with a church that instead endorses a primary identity based in sexuality or gender is problematic for both sides, as both sides will call the other to repentance. 

Next steps for NKMB 

At the time of this letter, we understand that Jubilee church is not intending to leave the MBCM family, and so the resolution for removal is the next course of action. We also understand from discussions held at the November 19th meeting that there are voices in MBCM that would prefer to stay united, regardless of the differences. We understand there are also MBCM members in agreement to the direction Jubilee is going and would like the entire Canadian MB community to change direction. 

Although we think the resolution for removal is likely to pass, it is by no means a certainty. If it does not pass, then the implications are rather confusing as our province is then at odds with our nationally held Confession of Faith. This scenario would force NKMB to decide on what to do next. Therefore, NKMB council is asking NKMB members to prayerfully consider the following action items, leading up to Assembly 2023 on March 3rd and 4th. 

1.    Participate in fasting. We ask that for members that are able to, to take every Wednesday from January 18th until March 1st to fast for a 24hr period, from Tuesday at 6pm until Wednesday 6pm. We understand from Matthew 6:16-18 that Jesus expects his followers to regularly fast. This is an act of humble submission and removes any pride we might have in our own ability. For those not familiar with fasting, doing several one-day fasts is a great way to begin a habit that will bring to closer to the Lord.

2.    Participate in prayer. Consider participating in one of these options taking place at NKMB: 

a. Pray at the 5:00 am weekly prayer meeting, from January 18th until March 1st. This is for those who want to take a bold step of sacrificial prayer.

b. Participate in the congregational prayer meeting on Saturday, January 28th, 6:00 pm.

c. Participate in the congregational prayer meeting on Saturday February 18th, 6:00 pm.

Some reasons to pray include: 

• For a peaceful division of Jubilee from MBCM.

• For repentance in the ways we have harmed, side-lined, or ignored sexually marginalized.

• For wisdom on how to proceed if the resolution does not pass.

• For courage and boldness when faced with opposition, especially from the dominant culture and political climate surrounding us.

• For an increased measure of love and compassion for the hurting people around us, regardless of their sexual identity or gender status.

• For transformation and renewal of all broken people. 

3.    Participate at Assembly 2023. We ask that you become a delegate and participate as a voting member at Assembly in Winkler on March 3rd and 4th. NKMB is allowed to have 46 voting delegates. 

Let us continue to live in love and compassion while still holding to the hard teachings of the bible. 

Kind regards, Tim Giesbrecht NKMB Moderator, on behalf of NKMB Council

Footnotes 

1. In Romans 3:23 we learn that w all fall short of the glory of God, regardless of our past, or how we feel in the moment.

2. In Romans 8:17 we learn that all who call on him share both in Christ’s suffering and his glory. We have received a new Spirit, the Spirit of Christ, and this Spirit can free us from all sorts of bondage. To say that some bondage is too great for the Spirit is to say that Christ’s suffering was not sufficient enough.

3. The CCMBC National Faith and Life team has produced a document titled “Loving Well”. If you would like a copy please request it from the church office, either electronically or as a paper copy.

4. We understand from 1 Cor 5 and other New Testament passages that the best course of action is to break fellowship with believers who teach fellow believers to promote sexually immoral practices. This does not apply to those outside the church, who we are told not to judge.


Thursday, January 19, 2023

From Anabaptist World: Canadian Mennonite Brethren gathering opens national conversation on LGBTQ+ inclusion

 

Organizers intend to debrief CCMBC leadership about the event, including asking for a moratorium on suspending churches that are exploring this topic. “By far that was the most urgent ‘to do’ that arose from the event. Time will tell whether we can effectively make that appeal.”


Read my overview of the Jan. 9-11 Open Space event in Anabaptist World. 

Tuesday, January 17, 2023

Winnipeg church calls on its members to pray and fast for Jubilee Mennonite Church to peacefully leave the Mennonite Brethren Conference of Manitoba







Winnipeg’s North Kildonan Mennonite Brethren (NKMB) has asked its members to fast and pray that Jubilee Mennonite Church, also located in Winnipeg, will voluntarily leave the Mennonite Brethren Church of Manitoba (MBCM) before a vote on its membership takes place at the Conference’s March 3-4 assembly. 

In a letter sent to NKMB members on January 11, NKMB moderator Tim Giesbrecht wrote “we think the best course of action for both them and MBCM is to have an amicable separation” due to Jubilee’s June 2020 decision to welcome and affirm LGBTQ+ people and support same-sex marriage. 

Jubilee’s membership in MBCM was suspended by MBCM in October, last year. If the church, which is also part of Mennonite Church Manitoba, doesn’t change its stance on LGBTQ+ and same-sex marriage, the next step in the Conference's constitutionally-mandated procedure is a vote on removing it from membership. That vote will happen in March at the assembly. 

Noting that NKMB council and staff “stand by” the Mennonite Brethren Confession of Faith as it pertains to marriage being between a man and a woman, Giesbrecht goes on to say that a peaceful division will give Jubilee "the freedom to worship in a manner that they best see fit.” 

At the same time, it would allow the “remaining MBCM churches to seek ways to minister and care for the LGBTQ+ community with compassion and love that is consistent with scripture.” 

Staying "in fellowship" with Jubilee would be "problematic for both sides," it goes on to say.

NKMB expects the vote about removing Jubilee to pass at the assembly, which is being held in Winkler, a rural community about an hour south of Winnipeg. 

But such a decision is “by no means a certainty,” Giesbrecht said, noting there are members of MBCM who “prefer to stay united, regardless of the differences,” along with some who “are in agreement with the direction Jubilee is going.” 

For that reason, he goes on to ask NKMB members to volunteer to be delegates to the assembly. As a large church, NKMB can send 46 delegates to vote. 

If the resolution to remove Jubilee from membership does not pass, it would “force NKMB to decide on what to do next,” Giesbrecht said.  

Until that vote at the assembly, members are asked to fast and pray “for a peaceful division of Jubilee from MBCM,” for “wisdom on how to proceed if the resolution does not pass,” and for “courage and boldness when faced with opposition, especially from the dominant culture and political climate surrounding us.” 

Members are also asked to pray “repentance in the ways we have harmed, side-lined or ignored sexually marginalized” people, for an “increased measure of love and compassion for the hurting people around us, regardless of their sexual identity or gender status” and “for transformation and renewal of all broken people.” 

People can gather to pray at 5 a.m. weekly at the church between January 18 to March 1, or at congregational prayer meetings to be held January 28 and February 18. 

Giesbrecht concludes the letter by saying “let us continue to live in love and compassion while still holding to the hard teachings of the Bible.” 

NKMB and Jubilee are located almost kitty-corner to each other near the corner of Gateway and Springfield in the northeast part of the city.

Comments on the letter have been requested from NKMB, MBCM and Jubilee. Jubilee requested more time to think about the letter before responding. NKMB gave permission to publish their full letter on this blog.

Thursday, January 12, 2023

"It was everything I hoped for:" Open Space organizers share their reflections on the event

 












At the start of Open Space: A Conversation Worth Having, I asked the organizers to share about their hopes for the event (among other things). In this post, I asked them to share if they thought their hopes were fulfilled. 

The four organizers were David Wiebe, who served with the Canadian Conference of Mennonite Brethren Churches (CCMBC), including as Executive Director; James Toews, who retired in 2021 after several decades as senior pastor at Neighbourhood Church, Nanaimo, B.C. (and was a former MB Herald columnist); Danny Unrau, who served as a pastor for 28 years, including at Fraserview Mennonite Brethren Church in Richmond, B.C.; and John Unger, who served as a pastor in various Mennonite Brethren churches in Manitoba before serving in leadership at Canadian Mennonite University. 

John Unger 

We wanted to create a safe space for conversation. The fact that 60 people from five provinces came, most at their own expense, for these three days demonstrates how much the conversation was needed. It was everything I hoped for. 

David Wiebe 

I was very satisfied for a couple of reasons.  

First, people were encouraged who needed encouragement, even if it was simply to be in the room with other like-minded people. The frequent mention of “being safe," and the personal disclosures by several, were indicators of how sacred this time was for them. And so it was for me.  

Second, we assembled in love for Christ and one another, and thus we have that gift of love to try to present to the conference.  

James Toews 

When one has unclear, ambiguous, conflicted, and possibly even low, expectations the bar to passing them is not very high. That said, I came away thrilled by what happened.  

First, I was hoping that this would be a safe place for people who have not had safety within the MB family for many years. That hope was fully, fully met. That alone would have made the event worth the effort that went into it. 

Second, it was also a demonstration that this particular, complex conversation can be done well. We did not accomplish the clarity of issues that I feel is still required, but it set the table for further clarification of the issues at hand.  

Not only did we get to first base on that quest to clarity, but we have momentum and a trajectory towards second base. I feel that strongly that we have good momentum and direction. 

Third, one of the comments that came out of the final discussion was that this was equivalent to an “experimental farm.” I think that is a beautiful metaphor. We demonstrated that this can be done. And so it begs the question: When and where does the next iteration take place? 

Fourth, the event also demonstrated that the MB family does have a living community memory of a better way of being than has been demonstrated for the past few decades. 

Fifth, the three days were equivalent to what I experienced at the last four ICOMB (International Community of Mennonite Brethren) events I’ve attended—a community that simply enjoys being together.  

From that place, the capacity to solve vexing problems is very robust. Conversely, without love and good will, even small problems tear families apart. I don’t think that matter of inclusion is actually that hard, but without good will, it will indeed tear us apart. It DOES NOT need to. This challenge can and should make us stronger. 

Lastly, the most urgent “to do” that arose from the ranked issues, by far, is the matter of a call for a moratorium on the aggressive actions by provincial conferences against churches and individuals exploring what inclusion means. Time will tell whether we can effectively make that appeal, but it was good to have this so clearly stated. That is a worthy accomplishment. Getting that effectively communicated to conference leaders is indeed the next challenge. 

Dan Unrau 

Did we accomplish what I hoped for? The fact that I'm still sorting what I hoped for, notwithstanding, it was hard, it was soft, it was safe, it was not dangerous (at least not in the room), it was family (at its best), it was community, it was gentle, it was provocative, it was tears, it was laughter, it was surprise, it was disappointment, and it was a strange unknown mixture of what felt like a beginning and an end, it was the Church, and it was walking the winding road with Jesus.  

It was raw wounds opened to the 'sky' reaching in hope, all the way to the top of the Museum for Human Rights. Did it accomplish what I hoped for? Still don't know for sure, but it certainly was something very much akin.

Wednesday, January 11, 2023

“It reignited my sense of hope for church and what it can be." Final voices from Open Space













At the concluding session of Open Space on Jan. 11, participants were invited to share what the even meant to them. Below are some of the comments. All are anonymous, in keeping with the nature of the gathering. 

“I came pessimistic and cynical, and didn’t have much hope the system could change. But now I feel and more hopeful for being with people I respect and admire. There is hope for the future.” 

“I was grateful to be part of this. There are no opportunities for me to discuss this topic in other places.” 

“I was so impressed by the range and scope of the sharing. It was a real gift.” 

“Open Space was a study in consensual leadership. It’s an example of the kind of consensual leadership need desperately in the conference. I hope it can be replicated.” 

“What transpired here matters. It’s like dropping a pebble in a pond, the ripples can’t be stopped. Each voice and experience matters. Let’s not give up hope. It’s probably not about saving the institutional family, but about being the church God calls us to be.” 

“I feel so alone in my province. It was good to be with you and connect with you. Thanks to organizers, who had the vision had to organize the event.” 

“It reignited my sense of hope for church and what it can be. I was very encouraged, as a younger person. I was encouraged by the elders here, and am grateful for them, for driving this conversation forward.” 

“A question I ask myself often is what do I do with love for the Mennonite Brethren church? I can’t shake it. It would be easy to put that love someplace else, go somewhere else. But now and then I find out why love the Mennonite Brethren church, and an event like this is why.” 

“The message from here is good news for everyone. I want that to be understood by conference, and I want people to know it outside the church, too.” 

“I have to say I was inspired by young people in this room, the talents I see, their drive and creativity. It was time well spent. A good investment.” 

“I look forward to the time when more LGBTQ+ voices can be part of this conversation.” 

“I was not hopeful when I came. I was an edge person, ready to jump. I have great love for the Mennonite Brethren church, but it’s been pretty discouraging this year. But this group of people feels like my tribe. It was very different from meetings on this topic I’ve been to in the past.” 

“I do have hope. I don’t know what will happen to my church, but I know change is coming. I will do everything in my power, in a kind and loving way, to expedite that change.” 

“Given the recent history of the Mennonite Brethren conference, this meeting was absolutely necessary. It’s not been safe to share what is on your heart if it is not part of the party line.” 

“I wish this event hadn’t been necessary. I was saddened when Conference leaders said no to leading us in this conversation. When preaching, I would always pray that if this is chaff, let the wind blow it away. But if it is good seed, let it fall into good soil. I don’t know what will come of this. I pray it will be seeds that find root.” 

“We need to stop saying that the church has hurt LGBTQ+ people. It is hurting them now. My kids are the teenagers. They won’t join in the church, it’s not safe. I have to walk with them away from church. Is there space in the Mennonite Brethren church for my daughter? She is a person, she is not a topic. She is not a theology. She is a child.” 

“I’ve been deeply hurt by the words and actions of our conference leaders. You gave me a safe space to share my story; I didn’t even realize I needed to do that. It gave me a space to find healing.” 

“I’m a proud parent of a transgender child. I can share that in this space. It feels like a space that I desire to walk in.” 

“I came not feeling too hopeful, but now I feel hopeful after hearing so many stories.” 

“It is good to know there is a greater group of people, more than just people like us who are parents of LGBTQ+ people. It’s good to know other people share our experience, they are also on a journey with us.” 

“I really wanted to be here, to hear stories and voices that are dear to my heart. One word that came to me about this time together is courage; I witnessed and heard stories of courage and that courage really humbled me. I want to have more courage.” 

“I am proud fully affirming mother of Lesbian daughter. I’ve only said that out loud one other time.” 

“I came as an outsider. I feel God’s love and presence here. It gives me hope for my grandchildren, that one day they can express themselves fully in the church.” 

“I came with few expectations. I’m surprised how personally I was impacted. I am a mother of two queer children. My church doesn’t know my story. But being here has given me courage to tell it.” 

“I made a commitment to myself to put a note on my fridge to hold you all in prayer every day for a minute, and those beyond the circle who are struggling. As for the future, I was pessimistic before I came, but now I sense a great mystery of something bubbling and gurgling, something bigger than I thought. Now I amexcited to see how that will unfold.” 

“I believe God speaks when God’s people speak and listen to one another. The spirit of God was  present in this group the last three days. I don’t know what next steps are. I want to commit to following Lordship of Christ whatever the cost is.” 

“I never experienced anything like this at an Mennonite Brethren gathering before.” 

“I hope as a result of this we have strength to take stories back to our communities, to get louder as allies and friends, and for all in marginalized communities.” 

“In Romans 5, Paul is trying to encourage church in Rome who are suffering. There is hope, he says, adding that suffering produces endurance, endurance produces character, and that produces hope. I’ve seen it my own life, and in the lives of others. And hope doesn’t disappoint. There is a pathway forward.”

More topics and notes from Open Space breakout groups












During the Jan. 9-11 Open Space event, participants were invited to suggest topics for discussion.These topics form the basis of the conversation during the time together. Below find a few more of the topics and notes from the discussions.

What is the gift of 2SLGBTQ + people in the church at this time?

A chance to reframe the conversation away from thinking about something as an “issue” and more about people.

  • A focus on lived experience and appreciate the reality of relationship and experience.
  • They are a unique voice to speak to the church; we have something to say and offer to the church as people who have been on the margins.
  • The gift of being a parent of a gay child .
  • The gift of courage; it takes so much courage to be in certain places and to bring their full selves to the table. When that courage exists in the church, it spills over into other things. When people don’t have the courage to be authentic and who they are with integrity, we lose.
  • The gift of awareness.
  • The gift of community to community.
  • Gift of gay marriage as saving the ritual of marriage for heterosexual marriage as well.
  • The gift of other parents of queer children who are also in leadership has been significant.
  • The gift of opening up hard conversations.
  • The courage to walk in the mystery… “I don’t know what I think about this theologically but I know this person needs a pastor.” Let there be space for there to be pastoral care first and foremost – we can work out the theological challenges later.

What are unique ways that parents can promote the affirming journey?

  • We have an opportunity to speak from a personal perspective.
  • We have stories to share from our kids and their friends. We bring reality to this question.
  • We can be safe places for other kids (e.g. our kids friends, students)
  • We can help other parents who have kids who come out. We can share resources and stories. 
  • We can be safe for other parents to share their fears and joys. We can help others realize they are not alone.
  • We can lead study groups and support groups for parents and other interested people.
  • If we have history in a congregation, we are respected so are not suspect theologically.
  • We are better able to accept the shock of different orientation and gender identities.
  • We know there is not a quick fix.
  • We have perseverance and are invested. We will stay at the table and live with the discomfort.
  • We have natural contacts in our work, churches, and schools.
  • We can represent our children if there is a human rights or-bullying challenge.
  • We have been chosen by God to be his hands of love.

Is the Mennonite Brethren response to LGBTQ+ driven more by fear than theology?

  • Yes, fear is a major factor in the environment of this discussion.
  • Fear resulting from the paradigm shift that accommodating an emerging inclusion theology. 
  • Fear of changing one’s mind
  • Fear of even this Open Space event taking place; a source of anxiety for conference leadership.
  • Fear of over what will happen to the denomination (e.g. churches leaving)

What exacerbates fear? 

  • Secrecy
  • Lack of information
  • Isolation
  • Theological beliefs
  • Fear-based leadership structures

What mitigates fear?

  • Healthy relationships
  • Knowledge I.e. the science of sexuality and diversity
  • Healthy communication
  • Healthy long term relationships 
  • Healthy theology

It was noted there is fear is on both sides. For those in favour of LGBTQ+ inclusion and welcome, there is fear of loss of employment or inclusion in the church community

How to include LGBTQ+ voices

  • Listen to their stories first before including them, hold space e.g. A Time to Listen
  • They might be impatient with our agonizing
  • Watch our language; this is not an “issue.” It’s about people.
  • Invite them into safe spaces (e.g. A Time to Listen)
  • Build relationships
  • Go to their spaces, not always expect them to come into ours (e.g. flag-raising, Pride parades)
  • Send signals (e.gh. gender neutral washrooms, rainbow signs)
  • Don’t expect them to always tell their stories; it can be hard for them to be discussed repeatedly, the fatigue of educating others
  • Ask what they want to talk about

Where will future Mennonite Brethren leaders come from?

  • Many in the younger generation have given up on the Mennonite Brethren world because of where the conversation is at around inclusion.
  • Do we care that we are losing the next generation? What are their voices saying?
  • There seems to be two demographics that are happy to move forward: our older leaders (why are we not gathering together the older generation and learning from their collective wisdom?), and our next generation (under 35 leaders)
  • Our hope is that our youth remain within the Christian faith, not necessarily within the conference.
  • Said a younger person: We are not necessarily looking for an affirming space, but for a space that can actually dialogue. We’re more afraid of a family that can’t talk or won’t dialogue then anything.
  • There’s a passion to do stuff, but there isn’t a sense that the church is the vehicle to do that stuff anymore.
  • Feeling invested in. (Notice that for many of us it wasn’t the ministry involvement we had, but the opportunities we were given to have a seat at the table, regardless of whether or not we had earned it, and then to have our voices validated).

Defining the terms of the discussion

How to manage the polarities of the Traditional versus Open positions? We need to find ways to bridge the gap.

  • Important to understand what we are disagreeing on
  • Starting points are important. Don’t start with “Where do you stand on gay marriage?” A better place to start is “how can we relate to/include gay people?”
  • People hear the word “inclusion” differently. Inclusion for the conference means treating gay Christians like anyone else. For us, it means having no caveats when they come into the door. We don’t say “here’s where you can’t go.” 
  • Can we have a good faith conversation with conference leaders? With traditional pastors and church boards? It requires trust on both sides; maybe lots of one-on-one conversations to build trust. 
  • Instead of us making a case to include, we should ask the conference to make the case for excluding. 
  • Use “defusing” language 
  • Help people acknowledge the “win-lose” dynamic at work and “drop it” for the next 15-30 minutes so that possible fruitful dialogue can take place.
  • Watch that this Open Space group doesn’t take on a “us versus them” mentality. Keep a gentle perspective and speak respectfully.

Measuring Success 

Metrics for assessing progress toward inclusion include:

  •  
  • Harm challenged, an apology
  • Evidence of welcome and openness: signage, clarity on website
  • Knowledge of community makeup – awareness of LGBTQ presence
  • Inclusive language of worship – sensitivity to patriarchal and colonizing language e.g. Mennonite Church hymnbook
  • Gender neutral bathrooms
  • Interest in justice – broader than just LGBTQ, acknowledging current injustices
  • Covenant about how to talk about inclusion and LGBTQ people before engaging in the conversation
  • Education/sensitivity training
  • Perpetual stance of being a learner – freedom to ask questions
  • Public support of elimination of conversion therapy or counseling
  • Information about the church’s philosophy of counseling
  • Knowledge of community resources and services
  • Avoid offensive humour and embrace mutually positive humour
  • Asking honouring questions
  • Treat with respect while honouring differences
  • Pursue community around a common purpose
  • Give space by not asking intrusive questions of LGBTQ people which we wouldn’t ask of straight people

Affiliation with the Mennonite Brethren Conference

  • Churches across the country are wondering if they should leave the Mennonite Brethren Conference. Some are considering Mennonite Church Canada, which permits churches to be inclusive and affirming of LGBTQ+ people.
  • The question wa asked if there is a way for churches to stay in communication with each other during this time, perhaps take action together.
  • It was suggested that churches should be very careful about ‘giving up on the MB conference.’ We have a voice and a need to exercise it. 

Time for a moratorium on suspending churches that explore LGBTQ+ inclusion?

  • The idea of a moratorium would be to delay the process, give time for more conversation.
  • The Borderland Proposal from River East Church was mentioned. It was submitted to the conference about half a year ago.  No official response yet.
  • Can we think about sending a delegation to the CCMBC rather than simply sending in a report?  The idea would be for conversation. 
  • To get change, there is the carrot and the stick. What is the stick? What is the carrot?
  • Idea:  to have Open Space conversations in provinces across this country.
  • Language has changed in B.C. from community hermeneutic to apostolic leadership.  Language changes first and then actions.
  • It was suggested a proposal on a moratorium has no chance in some parts of the country. 
  • Hope is that all churches that are removed from the conferences stay in touch with each other until they are allowed back. But more, that these churches ‘stay’ in the conference even if they are removed from it. That is, people could remain connected with the shared beliefs (almost all of them), shared relationships and shared ministries. 

Action items

  • Very interested in green light, red light items on what it means to be MB and what it does not mean
  • Share among us on how a church exploring the topic of Open Spaces can remain effectively within the conference
  • Churches that are affirming are growing; narrative could be helpful; one tool that could be pulled out
  • Where are all the smart, young people?  Where are the next pastors going to come from? 
  • Ontario Feb, Manitoba March, the conventions are an opportunity to speak to the borderland proposals
  • A delegation from this event to the CCMBC leadership
  • With whatever happens, how do we retain connections with each other and, at the same time, we refuse to leave. 
  • Trust is broken on both sides. Can’t let go of hope to remain in the family. At the same time, perhaps we hold on to the idea of family too strongly. 
  • Similarly, there is a script and video and Conrad’s report for those who are really interested in perceptions of MWC membership.

How do we equip parents for age-appropriate healthy conversations with their children?

  • Teachings through Safe place policy
  • Supporting kids when there is bullying
  • Sending messages that kids are allowed to be who they are, especially those who may feel different
  • Posture Shift resources may be helpful
  • Parents may be in different places with their belief systems/values
  • Have sex positive talks to have with kids.

How do we network between the various Anabaptist networks?

  • There is a growing number of churches that are being asked to leave the Mennonite Brethren family. It can often be a lonely journey. Is there a way for these churches to network?
  • We used to focus on shared mission, shared relationships, and shared convictions.
  • Today it feels as though the shared conviction piece is that seems to be of concern for our conference leadership.
  • In some family network they are both a family and a business operation. They find ways to separate those to and co-exist. It is possible for a church to no longer be part of ‘the business’, but continue to be part of this family...
  • Could we behave like a denomination as we do as churches? In churches we no longer excommunicate people. There is a lot of forbearance in the local family and the local church. Why is there only an in or out option within the denomination?
  • Can we separate belonging from total confessional alignment?
  • What are the needs for leaders in these moments of transition? Is it different than those of the people who make up these churches? Should more emphasis go to supporting the leaders?
  • Is the future going to be more regional partnering rather than national or even international identity?
  • Should we start a new network of anabaptist churches? There seems to be little appetite for that. Rather there is a lot of hope to stay at the table – what might things be like in the MB family in 5-10 years?
  • Minimally is there a way to share our journeys?

How to Engage People in Pews

  • Shoulder tap young leaders who are here: invite them to create a meeting of MB young adult church members to orient them to the issue and inspire and equip them to volunteer to be delegates for their congregations.
  • Identify respected influencers in congregations and call them to prepare to speak to a motion to table the conversation (congregation’s haven’t had enough time to process the subject).
  • Engage conference leadership regarding how much opportunity there will be for the churches under the microscope to share their story at convention. (Conference leadership tends to react to challenges without having prepared for potentialities. If we help prepare them in advance for the questions we want to pose/the issues we want to raise, it will be for the good of all.)
  • Prepare a brief summary to distribute via that concisely makes a case for how one can offer inclusion to 2SLGBTQ+ while still being true to Scripture. (Perhaps everyone at this event could dig up the open letter list and contact the signees they know who weren’t here and provide them with an update and point to new resources.)
  • We need to keep sharing stories

Update on this blog: Time for a pause