Open Space: A Conversation Worth Having to discuss inclusion of LGBTQ+ people in Mennonite Brethren churches in Canada

From January 9-11, about 50 Mennonite Brethren church members from across Canada are meeting in Winnipeg to talk about the topic of LGBTQ+ inclusion, welcome and affirmation in the church.

The goal of the gathering, called Open Space: A Conversation Worth Having, is to explore the question: “How do we faithfully include and love 2SLGBTQ+ people in our lives and churches as Mennonite Brethren?”

The gathering, which is not an official conference event, has been organized by retired Mennonite Brethren pastors and conference leaders David Wiebe and John Unger of Manitoba and James Toews and Danny Unrau of B.C. It is being held at the Canadian Museum for Human Rights.

Participants are coming from Ontario, Manitoba, Saskatchewan, Alberta and B.C. and are a mix of clergy or former/retired clergy, academics, students and other members of Mennonite Brethren churches who have interest in the topic.

Mennonite Brethren conference leaders were not invited to participate. They were, however, directly informed about the event. This included a meeting with Elton DaSilva (National Director of the Canadian Conference of Mennonite Brethren Churches) and Ken Esau (National Faith & Life Director). They did not request for it not to occur.

I asked the four organizers to answer a few questions about the event. 

David Wiebe served with the Canadian Conference of Mennonite Brethren Churches, including as Executive Director; James Toews retired in 2021 after several decades as senior pastor at Neighbourhood Church, Nanaimo, B.C. (and was a former MB Herald columnist); Danny Unrau served as a pastor for 28 years, including at Fraserview Mennonite Brethren Church in Richmond, B.C.; and John Unger served as a pastor in various Mennonite Brethren churches in Manitoba before serving in leadership at Canadian Mennonite University.

Why did you organize Open Space?

John: In March 2021 we wrote an Open Letter asking conference leaders to "create space for us to speak and listen to each other" on the topic of LGBTQ+. To date it has not happened. In the meantime, pastors, church leaders, parents, and grandparents from across the provinces are asking, urgently looking for a safe place to talk.  

James: The current state of affairs in the denomination is unconscionable. Pastors and leaders trying to engage in a family conversation about LGBTQ+ inclusion are being mistreated and gay people and their families are effectively being pushed out of many Mennonite Brethren churches. This is done both passively and actively. Both must stop. And churches that are trying to be inclusive are being punished. For me, this is goes against the very core of Jesus’ call: “Come to me, ALL who are weary . . . .”

Danny: It seems a “no brainer” to me that if any one person in the family wants to talk, it is incumbent upon the rest of us in the family (and especially the family’s leaders) to make it easy to have that talk. That being said, I participated to hopefully get the talking somehow at long last started. Nothing seems to have happened so far.   

David: It came to me form the open space event I led in 2001 over women in ministry. It bore a lot of fruit. But in addition, the interpersonal dynamic was very strong, and we built a common understanding among participants because of the "thickness" of the dialogue. I thought an opn space approach to this divisive issue could once again bear such fruit.

What do you hope will result from this event?

John: I hope people will have experienced a safe place to ask questions, offer insights, engage with others who are also wrestling with the question of LGBTQ inclusion in their families and churches. Other outcomes have not been predetermined. We'll see what comes up in the conversation.

James: I hope that this proves to be a catalytic and conversation-opening event for the family of Mennonite Brethren churches in Canada. The status quo is not good; change to the status quo almost always happens from the bottom up. But changes to status quo are also rarely easy. This even is another step of a bottom-up conversation that grew out of the Open Letter to the denomination back in 2021.

Danny: That the talking starts. And listening and compassion comes flooding in.

David: I hope the conference will open their minds to innovators who love the Mennonite Brethren family, yet want it to become more creative and open to innovation relative to welcoming and including queer people in the church. More short term, I hope people who are living with queer family members or church members might find real and personal encouragement from "life on life" interaction. 

Why did you not invite any official provincial or national Mennonite Brethren conference involvement?

John: Given that participation could be interpreted in various ways, we did not wish to put anyone into a difficult position.

James: This was a decision that we wrestled with quite extensively and the complexity of the decision remains. I believe the primary ground was safety on at least two levels. First, for participants who have been wounded, many by conference leaders.

Second, that allies within leadership would not be compromised unnecessarily. Inviting selected conference leaders could have led to a variety of other problems.

Danny: We needed to ensure that the “talkers” would feel safe. 

David: Every review of who to invite seemed to suggest that staff members present would be put in awkward positions of knowing what people thought about the issue so we thought for this round, it just wouldn't work. Hopefully in the future with more events like this.

Are you worried about any pushback from the Mennonite Brethren conference?

John: While disappointment was expressed, they did not try to dissuade us from hosting this event.

James: No. Not at all. I hope that this event will clarify our ask, such that pushback would be meaningless. I feel sorry for our conference leaders, many of whom are very conflicted in this matter. I think they are fighting a slow but inevitable “tidal” movement within society. They are the opposite of the legendary King Canute and the tide. It is one thing to resist a tidal force; it is deeply foolhardy to refuse to engage it.

Danny: Not really, I think what we’re trying to do is too important not to do. I often say I’d like to hold onto every friend I’ve ever had, and I already have some strained relationships within our British Columbian and Canadian Mennonite Brethren family. But I hope for these fractures to be one day be reconciled.    

David: Pushback is already in play. I'm not worried about myself. I do worry about pastors and church leaders who might be mistaken for their views and experience unneeded reprisal. And I worry about what the Conference is doing to itself.

What is your personal reason for planning Open Space?

John: So many people have contacted us in recent years saying, "I can't talk to my pastor. Could we meet for coffee?" This family conversation needs to happen.

James: I think that the matter of including our LGBTQ+ siblings in our churches is a matter of basic Biblical justice/injustice, much as the mistreatment of the Gentile widows in Acts 6:1. That was the presenting issue that led to the famous Acts 15 council.

The shift to equal, unambiguous treatment of gay Christians must take place just as slavery and equal rights for women needed to be addressed in the past. Like those two shifts, the needed conversations don’t happen easily or without proactive engagement by those who feel called to do that. I feel a call to that.

David: It's an assignment that found me. I had to respond.  

Danny: Closing the door and refusing conversation breaks relationship, hinders growth and understanding, and, in fact, enhances the advancement of that which we fear. Henry Schmidt (former MB Seminary professor and President) often told me: “Walk toward your critics; face your fears. Anything less only makes things worse.” I found that advice served me pretty well throughout my 38 years of ministry. I think I learned a lot living that way and I believe, too, I made more friends out of potential enemies than I did enemies.

Anything else?

John: I see this event as a potential resource for conference and church leaders. Can we find pathways to "land this thing" without blowing everything apart?

David: This is just one issue among a host of issues facing the Mennonite Brethren conference in Canada today, all of which are testing the character of the church and Christianity as a whole. And it's perplexing to me. Bending or breaking Article 11 of the Confession of Faith (Marriage & Family) puts a pastor or church almost instantly under review and/or suspension. In my decades of Conference work, I have seen plenty of "breakage" of the Confession of faith on Article 13 (Peace) with no discipline whatsoever. Instead, there are "acres" of room for pastors to "grapple with" the "problems" attached to our peace conviction.  Why don't we see refusal to bear arms as a test of faith in the way we do this issue?

But this issue is indeed a test. Some think it's a test from God. That is, to stay pure, and present a "spotless bride" to Jesus on the Final Day. But purity was the Pharisees' solution to the test they thought God was giving them. And Jesus disagreed. Moreover, Jesus was enraged.

So I think it's a test the other way: God has presented the enormously resourced western church with a nice challenge: "Hey you guys, I have provided you with lots of time and money and power to delve deeply into Scripture at your leisure. So, figure out how to offer the gospel of Jesus to a deeply marginalized and culturally hated group in our world. (Yeah, I know you basically failed with Blacks and Indigenous people. I'll give you another/last chance). Do you have the patience and intellectual vigor to pull it off? Can you love one another doing it? Will you exhibit the fruit of the Spirit when things get tough? Do you believe that you are actually My Body - My literal Presence in the world so that you won't damage it while you find a solution?" That's the test God is giving us. 

Meanwhile, we're barely holding together. We're spying on each other. We're gossiping about each other. So it's not going all that well, yet.

My effort in the Open Space event is to offer a practical solution where nervous systems can get close together and we can practice loving each other in close range even when we disagree. This week's experiment might save Mennonite Brethren from our instinct to separate while we're working on a project from God that actually should be entirely manageable by the western church.

This blog will be reporting from Open Space. Check back for more posts.