Opinion: Is it time for more conversation in the MB conference about LGBTQ+?

I recently reconnected with a relative who is about my age (mid-60s). 

A former member of the Mennonite Brethren conference, she wanted to catch up on life and talk about how her faith had changed—and about LGBTQ+. 

I wasn’t sure what direction the conversation would take. 

As it turned out, she has moved away from the more rigid, exclusionary and judgmental faith taught to her during her youth to a more generous and open view of God and God’s love for all humanity. 

“Who am I to judge who Jesus should love and accept?” she said. 

For her, that included LGBTQ+ people. 

Like many who grew up in the church in the 1960s and 70s, she was taught that anyone who was homosexual was sinning and going to Hell. 

But she no longer believes that.

For her, one turning point was a Lesbian couple who came to her church. 

They were good people who came seeking support and prayer—which she and others were happy to provide, along with friendship.

Talking to her, I realized again that this isn't just a topic of interest to younger people. Many older members of the MB conference want to talk about LGBTQ+, too.

In their older years, they have adopted a more generous stance when it comes to who is in and who is out in the family of faith. 

Or they are simply more open to exploring new ideas than people often give them credit for.

After my conversation with my relative, I had to wonder if MB conference leadership is simply out of step when it comes to being willing to talk about LGBTQ+. 

Maybe they shouldn't be afraid of offending older members; maybe many of those older members are already way ahead of them when it comes to talking about this subject.

That's what an MB  pastor friend found out when he spoke at a women's group at this church a few years ago.

When told the group of about 25 older women they could ask him anything, one woman asked about LGBTQ+.

Her granddaughter had just come out, but she didn't know where she could go to talk about it.

Four other women quickly added that was their experience, too, involving grandchildren, children or siblings. 

It caused my pastor friend to realize their was a desire to talk about LGBTQ+, but no place in the church where people felt safe doing it. 

This anecdotal evidence was corroborated by a 2021 survey of Canadian MB churches by the Mennonite Brethren Seminary.

When it asked churches if they are interested in talking about LGBTQ+, 88% said yes. 

Despite this, the Canadian Conference of MB Churches, and some provincial conferences, are reluctant to open up the conversation. It’s a no-go zone for them. 

The national conference turned down an opportunity a few years ago. That led to the creation of a Time to Listen, a member-led effort to give MB church members chances to hear stories from and about the LGBTQ+ community. 

The one time the subject appeared in an official Mennonite Brethren publication--the book On Holy Ground--three pages about LGBTQ+ were censored and the original print run destroyed. . 

(By-the-way, to date those three missing pages have been viewed over 4,600 times on this blog.) 

But many people want to talk about it. Will the MB conference in Canada, and provincial conferences, create space to do so? And in a way that invites real dialogue and room for disagreement and different perspectives? 

I hope so. But I'm not holding my breath. Maybe someone will have to take the initiative if leaders won't.

Anyone up for a challenge?

Maybe the result will be more placid than anyone realizes, like the photo above. 

"I felt I have not been heard:" Lee Kosa, former pastor at Cedar Park Church, on why he wrote a raw and honest blog post about his conflict with the British Columbia MB Conference

 

Earlier this month, Lee Kosa, former pastor at Cedar Park Church in B.C., wrote a frank, raw and honest blog post about the events that led to him resigning his position at that church.

Titled "On Conflict, Pain & Composting: Reflections on the Worst Church Year of my Life," it reveals the personal and professional cost of how he was treated by the British Columbia Mennonite Brethren Conference when the church he led decided it would like to explore the topic of LGBT+ acceptance and welcome. 

It delves into the mental and emotional cost of that conflict, including thoughts of suicide.

In the post he writes about how it felt to be called a “false teacher,” to be the subject of a secret investigation by BCMB into his ministry, and having his credentials for ministry taken away by the conference, among other things. 

After reading the post, I sent him aa few questions. I wondered: Why did he write it? What did he hope people would take away from it? And what message does he have for conference leaders? Find that conversation below. 

Why did you write the post?

As I’ve shared my story of church pain over the past year, I’ve noticed a few things. It’s exhausting for me to verbalize these events and it often activates my nervous system. People recognize the traumatic nature of the experience, and sometimes confess that they too have had traumatic church experiences.

I shared my story so I don’t have to retell it over and over and so that those who have been through spiritual trauma might know that they are not alone. 

As I’ve worked with a trauma-informed Spiritual Director, I’ve learned that instances of trauma involve a loss of agency. Sharing my story in an honest and artful way is a way for me to exercise my agency again.

Also, throughout my conflict with the BCMB, I have felt that I have not been heard. Emails I’ve written have been ignored, my disclosure of the harm I was experiencing was largely ignored, boundaries Cedar Park tried to set in order to rebuild a respectful and trusting relationship with the Conference were not heeded, and the Conference did not seem to share my appetite for rigorous and nuanced dialogue about hermeneutics and ecclesiology.

Sharing my story is an attempt to meet my human need to be heard. 

What are you hoping readers will take away from it?

I’m hoping readers will be open to confronting the inconvenient truth that churches and denominations are often places of spiritual trauma and this is not ok.

The church should be a sanctuary where the hurting find shelter under the consoling wings of God and in the compassionate embrace of God’s people. 

What message do you have for BCMB? (Or the Canadian Conference of Mennonite Brethren Churches?) 

A message that I have repeated to many BCMB and CCMBC leaders is this: When the stakes of theological alignment and confessional fidelity are freighted with such weight (e.g., one’s job, community, people’s eternal destiny, one’s mental health) then conference processes should be carried out with a rigour that matches the intensity of the consequences.

This is not work one does off the side of their desk. It is irresponsible, dangerous, and exhibits a sinful lack of human concern to police certain confessional convictions without robust review and conflict resolution policies in place. 

Do you think it is time for more churches and individual MBs to be like you and CPC and leave the conference over the topic of LGBTQ+?

This may be a matter of personal conscience and discernment. However, such personal discernment must be done while taking an unflinching look at the past and current harm that the aggressive policing of particular confessional convictions causes.

There is an unfairness inherent in the inconsistency with which the Conference demands rigid allegiance to certain convictions while allowing others to be completely ignored or even contradicted in practice.

As I wrote in the post: “If you are connected to a church conference or denomination through employment, membership, participation, or financial giving and you know about misuse/abuse of power, structural issues that leave people vulnerable, and a lack of accountability that enables leaders to act with impunity, and you remain within the denomination/institution while you have the power to advocate for reform/healing justice, and yet you do not, then perhaps you are complicit in an unsafe system that perpetuates harm in the name of Jesus.”

For some, the cost of leaving is high. I know this too well. However, the life and call of Jesus demonstrates the way to God’s shalom often involves costly faithfulness. 

"Our hope is the MB conference would give us their blessing." Elfrieda & Hardy Schroeder on Jubilee Mennonite church's decision to welcome and affirm LGBTQ+ people

 

In June, this year, Jubilee Mennonite Church in Winnipeg decided to become welcoming and affirming—including conducting same-sex weddings. 

Jubilee is a dual conference congregation, belonging to Mennonite Church Manitoba and the Manitoba Mennonite Brethren Conference (MBCM). 

For MC Manitoba, their decision isn’t a problem; the denomination allows churches to decide whether or not to be welcoming and affirming. 

For MBCM, however, it is problematic, especially around same-sex marriage and inviting LGBTQ+ people into positions of leadership. In September, the conference will decide how to  proceed about Jubilee’s decision. 

I reached out to two long-time members of Jubilee who have roots in the Mennonite Brethren conference—Hardy and Elfrieda Schroeder. What are their thoughts about their church’s decision? What are their hopes for the future with the MB conference? Here is that conversation. 

Tell me about Jubilee Mennonite Church and its decision to welcome and include LGBTQ+ people. 

From our perspective, Jubilee has been welcoming, affirming and inclusive of community and Indigenous people. Why should we hesitate to fully accept LGBTQ+ people? And why does the MB Conference make an exception here? 

We believe that LGBTQ+ people should be welcomed into full membership just like everyone else. As people who practice a loving, intimate and committed relationship, they should be wholly 'eligible' to be part of a like-minded church fellowship. 

Hearing the personal stories of parents and their children on “A Time to Listen” reinforced that for us. 

For us this means that people, desiring a loving committed partner with whom to share their life while having a same-sex orientation, are not committing a sin. 

As members of the MB conference, are you personally worried about how the Manitoba MB Conference might react? 

Our hope, of course, is that the Manitoba MB conference would give us their blessing and leave it up to individual congregations to decide, just like they did with the issue of women in ministry (which, in our opinion, took far too long). 

To us it seems the decision to accept women in ministry is similar to the LGBTQ+ issue, even though the conference claims it isn’t. It’s a way of interpreting Scripture. 

We would prefer that Jubilee not withdraw from the Manitoba MB Conference. We also would not like for them to suspend our congregation from membership in the Conference. 

What has the Manitoba MB Conference said to you so far? 

We were told, following a meeting between representatives from Jubilee and the provincial MB conference, that they appreciate the process Jubilee went through and they agree with much of our statement. 

However, Jubilee’s decision to marry same-sex couples and to invite people in same-sex relationships to be in leadership positions is not consistent with the MB Confession of Faith. 

Unlike Mennonite Church Manitoba, the MB conference does not give congregations space to adopt theology or practices that are outside the bounds of the Confession of Faith. They view congregations that adopt such positions as subject to disciplinary action. 

In the case of Jubilee, this could involve the suspension of the church’s membership in the conference. 

This decision could be made by the MB conference at its AGM next March. Another option is for Jubilee to withdraw from the MB conference—something we wouldn’t like to do. 

We appreciate membership in the MB conference, and our church has benefitted from that relationship. 

The MB community is part of who we are. We incorporate elements of both conferences and their confessions of faith in our worship and life together. It would be disappointing if this relationship ended. 

Tell me about your backgrounds in the Mennonite Brethren conference. 

We have been members of Winnipeg’s Jubilee Mennonite Church since 2009. Before that we were members of the Kitchener, Ontario MB Church for 24 years. 

At Jubilee, Elfrieda is encouraged to use her gifts in worship leading and occasional preaching. This is a change from Kitchener, where her adult Sunday school teaching was not affirmed by everyone. She could, however, be a deacon—together with Hardy (although for some time women were not permitted to serve communion). 

Hardy’s family became members of the MB Conference following their arrival in Canada as refugees after World War Two. (They had been sponsored by the John Froese family and the Manitou MB Church.) Hardy’s parents were both rebaptized by immersion after their two teenage sons decided to be baptized. 

Elfrieda joined the Springfield Heights Mennonite Church (by sprinkling) and was asked to accept rebaptism (at Brooklands MB, where Hardy was a member) in order to join the Manitoba MB Conference and go to DR Congo with him (as MB missionaries in Bible translation work).

She refused, as she had recently been baptized and felt it had been a meaningful experience she did not want to negate. The Brooklands church accepted her decision and the Manitoba MB Conference left it at that. She was one of the first to become a member without rebaptism.

We have learned during our years in the Congo that people experience God through the lens of their culture and that varies a great deal. However, Jesus’s teaching (“the greatest of these is love”) remains the one overriding factor.

"The love of Christ is wide and expansive and liberating:" Update from Nelson Boschman of Artisan Church a year after leaving BCMB

 

Just over a year ago, Artisan Church in Vancouver left the B.C. Mennonite Brethren Conference over its decision to be welcoming and fully inclusive of LGBTQ+ people. What’s happened since then? I checked in with the church’s Pastor of Spiritual Formation, Nelson Boschman, to find out. 

For background, Artisan began as Mennonite Brethren church plant in downtown Vancouver in 2009. Boschman was one of the co-founders. 

Is your church independent or has it found a new denominational home?

We have joined The Jesus Collective, a relational network of churches, ministries, and leaders who that has its roots in the Anabaptist radical reformation. It’s a Jesus-centred, third-way movement that brings together people and churches for mutual support, resourcing, and accountability.

We formalized our relationship with them earlier this year. It’s such a rich community to be a part of. They have diverse voices, and they take seriously the idea of the priesthood of all believers.

Unlike the Mennonite Brethren Conference, the Jesus Collective doesn’t have a confession of faith. They have a set of shared convictions, a shared centre in Jesus.

Are churches like Artisan, that welcome and include LGBTQ+ people, welcome in the Jesus Collective?

Yes. In my first intro meeting with them, via Zoom, I was nervous about telling our church’s story. After I told it, I got a message in the chat from another person saying her son is gay, and we are safe there. I cried. I didn’t realize how much that meant to me to have someone say that.

How is Artisan doing since you left BCMB? Did anyone leave over the church’s decision?

We are doing well. I’m aware of only one family who left Artisan specifically because of our decision, but they left kindly and graciously saying they want to raise their children with traditional view of marriage. We are still in relationship with them.

We gained some people, too, exiles from other churches. But the pandemic has made it hard to tell. On the aggregate, we have grown, with 150-200 people in person or online for a Sunday service.

Have you had any communication with BCMB since leaving?

Not with positional leaders, no. That’s not surprising, but it’s also telling. I still have many dear friends and family members within the MB world and feel grateful that those relationships have stayed strong.

How are you doing personally since leaving BCMB?

There is some pain, but mostly I feel relief. There are zero regrets. But I know it’s a long road. I know a woman who left the Mennonite Brethren Conference over 30 years ago over women in ministry. She said she still feels the ache of that departure. It was a timely word for me that won’t get over this quickly, either.

I’m sorry we couldn’t stay. I invested a lot in that denomination. But it feels freeing. There is a deep sense the Spirit has led us to this place.

Tell me about the book you just published.

It’s called The Growing Season: Contemplations on Wine and the Soul. It's a look at the transformation that occurs from grape to glass, and what that process can teach us about what it means to flourish as human beings.

I started it in 2018, when I realized I’d become a wine enthusiast. I worked a month at a winery during a sabbatical. After that experience I decided to write a book about the journey grapes take to become wine, comparing it to our human journey. It’s about discovering a more this-worldly spirituality.

It’s similar to the journey of Artisan. The love of Christ is wide and expansive and liberating, and we are called to live in the world showing that love to everyone.

Read more about Artisan’s decision to become welcoming and inclusive of LGBTQ+ people.

Mennonite Brethren Church of Manitoba responds to Jubilee Mennonite Church’s decision to welcome LGBTQ+ as full members

The Mennonite Brethren Church of Manitoba (MBCM) has released a statement in response to the decision by Jubilee Mennonite Church to welcome people in the LGBTQ+ community to become full members of the congregation.

Jubilee is a dual conference church, part of both Mennonite Church Manitoba and MBCM. 

The decision, which the church made in June, affirms that “all people are made in the image of God and are equally loved by God” and that everyone is welcome to join “regardless of gender identity, sexual orientation, race, ethnicity, social or economic status or ability.” 

Through membership, everyone is welcome to participate in the full life of the church, including communion, baptism and marriage, the statement goes on to say. 

The statement was approved by the congregation on June 12. It is now up on the church’s website. 

The decision was welcomed by Michael Pahl, Executive Minister for MC Manitoba, who noted MC Manitoba is “committed to creating space for congregations to discern how the Spirit is leading them with regard to LGBTQ+ inclusion.” 

A total of ten of MC Manitoba’s 37 congregations are now “fully affirming” of LGBTQ+ welcome and affirmation, he said. 

In a statement released August 2, the Leadership Board of the MBCM said it is working on a response to Jubilee’s new statement of inclusion. 

“The MBCM Board and Provincial Faith and Life Team recognize that LGBTQ+ persons, along with their friends and families, have experienced exclusion and rejection in churches,” the statement said. 

“While this is not everyone’s story, we understand that it is the story of many. We are committed to a future where better stories are experienced.” 

The statement went on to say that “each MBCM church is invited to join in this journey, where LGBTQ+ persons and their families experience inclusion and care.” 

It added “we recognize that some of the implications of working to include and care for LGBTQ+ persons can bump up against our shared confession. The MBCM board and PFLT continue to affirm our shared confession, in all of its aspects.” 

The Board applauded Jubilee for the way it “has been at work to enhance the care and inclusion of LGBTQ+ persons in an intentional manner over the past year,” even when “we experience disagreement with aspects of their current statement.” 

“While we affirm much of what is contained in the statement, we recognize that there are elements in sharp disagreement with our shared confession of faith,” the Board said, adding it is “working with Jubilee to resolve this matter.” 

A decision by MBCM on how to proceed is expected by September. 

Jubilee Mennonite Church, which is located in northeast Winnipeg, was founded in 1995 as a dual-conference congregation through the merger of the Northgate Mennonite Fellowship of Mennonite Church Manitoba and the Valley Gardens Community Church of the Mennonite Brethren Churches of Manitoba.