Tuesday, April 12, 2022

Cedar Park Church members respond to April 3 special meeting with B.C. Mennonite Brethren Conference



In response to the April 3 special meeting, a few members offered comments about what transpired. One asked to be anonymous. 

Former lead pastor Lee Kosa. 

“It would have gone a long way to have simply heard BCMB leadership say something like, ‘Given that we have not experienced a situation like this before, we didn’t respond as well as we should have. We do not have a dedicated policy or tools for dealing with church-related concerns and conflict and thus were not prepared. We are sorry for the confusion and pain our actions have contributed to. We are committed to doing better for Cedar Park and all BCMB member churches as we seek to follow our Lord together.’ 

“Instead, the Conference's words seemed to indicate that they are completely without fault in their interactions with Cedar Park, despite the meticulously documented evidence to the contrary. 

“Given the glaring inconsistencies in their comments, obvious avoidance of directly answering many questions, and unwavering posture of defensiveness, people in attendance wondered if they were given legal counsel to not admit any fault in order to protect themselves.” 

"When it comes to conversation about LGBTQ+ inclusion, policing the Confession of Faith, and biblical conflict resolution, it seems that BCMB cares more about their own legal liability than the needs of real vulnerable people. This revelation was profoundly disturbing to witness."  

Member Ted Andres. 

“The meeting was an embarrassment. CPC members came wanting answers but didn’t get them. It was clear the Conference had mistreated our pastor, but they seemed to be under legal advice not to say anything about that. 

“We didn’t get an answer as to why it was wrong for us to want to have a discussion about LGBTQ+ welcome and inclusion, but MB churches in B.C. who don’t support the peace statement get a pass. Why is there a line in the sand for this issue, but not the other? 

“We didn’t get an answer as to why our pastor was being investigated, or why his credentials were removed, or why he was deemed to be out of step with the Confession. 

“It was jarring to hear Eldon Fehr of the Pastoral Ministries Committee say our pastor is a false teacher. That is a very serious allegation. 

“We didn’t get an answer as to why the Conference didn’t follow Matthew 18 and tell members who were concerned about the direction of the church to speak directly to leadership, or to other members.

“The thing that is amazing about all of this is we didn’t actually even meet to discuss welcome and inclusion. We just wanted to talk about it. We just asked about the rules around it when we did. It seems that the main lesson BCMB learned from the Artisan situation is to come down hard and fast on any church that shows any interest in the subject, to cut it off quickly. 

“At the meeting, Sharon Simpson kept talking about the Confession of Faith. But that’s not what concerned us. We were concerned about the process, and how BCMB had treated our church. All through that process it was like the Conference kept pouring fuel on the fire. 

“I don’t blame the small number of people who were concerned about the direction of the church from going to the Conference as they perceived their church was changing and they were fearful. But the Conference should have sent them back to the church to talk with us, not held secret meetings. BCMB mishandled that. 

“When someone said things had become so bad that our pastor contemplated taking his own life, there was no reaction from the BCMB leaders at the front of the room. None. They said nothing. 

“Being told at the end of the meeting the church could be reinstated only for those willing to adhere to the Confession of Faith was a pretty curt statement. The implication was if you can’t do that, you might as well leave.” 

An anonymous member. 

“As I listened, it was apparent to me the BCMB leaders at the meeting were under legal instruction not to say anything or answer any questions directly. Their responses to our questions all felt like legalese. There was no humanity in them. 

“When asked directly if they had met with individual members, Simpson said yes. Yet e-mails from other members of the congregation supporting our pastors went unanswered. 

“What touched and saddened me was Kosa’s brokenness. The Conference broke a good person. What was said at the meeting seemed to pierce his heart. 

“To me, if BCMB learned anything from the Artisan experience it was to come down hard and fast on any church or pastor open to talking about LGBTQ+ welcome and inclusion. That included coming down hard on our pastor. It seemed like they needed to make an example of him, to keep the others in line. 

“When Lee was called a false teacher, the first thing that came to mind for me was what happened to the early Anabaptists who were accused of the same thing. They were executed. This felt like a symbolic execution of our pastor. 

“I understand some people have concerns about this conversation about LGBTQ+ welcome. But it would have been better if we could have talked. It’s unfortunate BCMB didn’t tell them to do that, and then protected them during this whole thing. 

“You know how many families in CPC have gay children, siblings or relatives? Twelve. It’s a big issue for us. 

“I suspect the Conference feels, by acting this way, that it has taken care of things. But it hasn’t. This issue will come up again and again. They will be reduced to playing whack-a-mole.” 

Riley Merrell, a now-former CPC attender. 

“What happened on Sunday night was abusive and absent of even a hint of restorative justice or peacemaking. I am willing to bet BCMB had legal counsel before entering the meeting. This was evident by the request that no journalists be present, as well as the repetitiveness of non-answers.  

“I would personally like to call for the resignation of Eldon Fehr, Chair of Pastoral Ministries Committee) who publicly declared pastor Lee a false teacher in front of his family, colleagues, and a church full of people who adore him. 

“Additionally, Rob Thiessen offended a community member by asking what Jesus they served, insinuating that their Jesus was not his Jesus nor the ‘right’ Jesus, nor the Jesus the Conference believes in. 

“For over an hour community members took to the mic to share their heartbreaking stories of how they've watched the conference tear this church apart. Stories from people who built CPC, from people who've attended for 40+ years, from teachers, counsellors, and industry professionals who criticized the conference's shortcomings with regard to due process, accountability, and communication. Time and time again, the moderator responded with non-answers using various bylaws and the confession of faith as a shield, disregarding the desperate pleas and heartfelt concerns. 

“BCMB has tripped on power and landed flat on their faces, leaving a path of destruction in their wake. For the sake of what? The Kingdom? What Kingdom is that? Perhaps the kingdom of the BCMBC, a kingdom that I have no interest in ever being a part of again. 

“I pray the Lord has mercy on them and softens their hearts to a place of repentance leading them to seek forgiveness from our pastors, Lee, Megan, and Darren who, along with their spouses and 10 children between them, embark on a season of healing and unemployment.

“As for the discussion of LGBTQ+ welcome and inclusion, Artisan was granted nearly four years of healthy dialogue, listening, and discernment before the axe came down. CPC barely got 10 minutes. 

“Consider what happened to CPC a warning to the next BC Mennonite Brethren Church hoping to hold a safe place for dialogue around faith and human sexuality. You should also know that the moderator used you ("97 churches") as a defense mechanism—leading congregants of CPC to believe that we were all alone in this. 

“If you're reading this and you are a part of one of the 97 Mennonite Brethren churches across B.C., and you are someone who desires to have healthy dialogue within your community on the topic of human sexuality, then make some noise and show the conference how misled they are. The time to be silent and comfortable is over. 

“The love of Jesus cannot be contained to the limited vision of the BCMB. They have no accountability unless the churches within the conference come together. If not, your community could be the next they tear apart. 

“How privileged am I to have never questioned God’s love for me. No wonder; I’m a white heterosexual man who has spent most of his life in MB churches. I was born to thrive there. Replace any one of those three identifiers and, depending on the point in history, I’d be facing some sort of hurdle. Non-white? Where do I start. Woman? Well 60 years ago and I’d barely be allowed to teach Sunday school. LGBTQ+? Not welcome or included. 

“We’ve come a long way on diversity and gender roles in the world today, two mountains the religious folk have died on before. Here’s hoping they find a way to traverse back down this third mountain of LGBTQ+ welcome and inclusion. They may be surprised to find Jesus there comforting all the people they’ve left behind.” 

Carol Johnson, former moderator and someone who identifies now as Queer or LGBTQ+. 

“I stepped aside my position when I came out in order to not be a distraction to the congregation. It was important for me that the focus not be on me as the gay moderator but the focus instead be on the greater conversation of what can inclusion and welcome look like at CPC for folk who identify as queer. The Elder Board accepted my stepping aside. 

“Lee was an incredible pastor. Many people relied on him for support. He lovingly walked me and my family through my husband’s death from cancer in 2019. He journeyed alongside us and supported us as a family. So to witness Lee leave the meeting shaking and crying uncontrollably was extremely heartbreaking. 

“To tell you how emotional the meeting was, one of CPC’s founding members, a quiet man, shouted to the BCMB leaders at the front as Lee left: “This meeting is over! You’ve broken a good man. Other people also broke down crying. 

“All through this BCMB wasn’t transparent with us. My e-mails expressing concerns about their heavy handedness and threatening behaviour weren’t responded to by them. Others said the same thing. 

“At the meeting, there was a lot of hedging and hiding behind the bylaws. That was so frustrating. And so devoid of compassion and love. 

“I didn’t grow up Mennonite, but I have come to appreciate Anabaptism. The way CPC was treated is so far from Anabaptism, from the idea of sitting down and talking together.  As an Anabaptist church, our intention was to discern together what the Spirit was saying to our community. It is wildly confusing to wonder why BCMB resorted to treating us and our pastors in such reprehensible ways. 

“What is shocking to me is we didn’t get to facilitate a fair, resourced and open conversation about LGBTQ+ welcome. Artisan had four or five years of discussion. We asked a simple question: what the ceiling was for LGBTQ+ involvement in the church? Be a member? Be a worship leader? Lead a small group? Be an elder? We just asked the question and then—boom the hammer of authority came down. This is a serious abuse of power and gatekeeping as to who is in and who is out. The table belongs to Christ, not BCMB. Christ’s invitation is for all to come. 

Dan Unrau, former Mennonite Brethren pastor in Manitoba and B.C. who was an observer at the meeting. 

"I was invited to be a witness at BC MB’s called meeting with the people of Cedar Park Church on April 3, 2022.  It was a meeting I will recall as among the saddest I have witnessed in my life—at almost every conceivable level. No one left the meeting untouched, unharmed. 

“That night, I had this raw read of the meeting. 

“Pastor Lee Kosa and the people of Cedar Park Church are broken and devastated and, in my view. exhibited the signs of being abuse victims. 

“The official BCMB position, as articulated by the representatives of BCMB leadership themselves, is that it chose to walk without grace, mercy, and compassion towards those in pain. But it was unable to see and accept and be accountable for the damage it was told it had done and was still doing. The posture it held to was that of a cold, heartless, legalistic, self-righteous, misguided parent. 

“A week after the meeting, I had these thoughts. 

“Whatever might be said about the history and the issues at play in this story, and add a plethora of unhappy clashing dynamics roiling the meeting, central to it for me was that Lee Kosa and the people of CPC were broken and bleeding by the roadside last Sunday night.  

“It felt like a window in on the story of the Good Samaritan, with the priests and Levites of BCMB walking by on the other side extending no compassion, no hand to help. In fact, some said, even a pouring of salt on the wounds of the wounded throughout the evening.  

“And what even increased the tragedy of the wounded? By their account it was those very same priests and Levites who had thrown them to the curb in the first place. I wept as I listened and felt and saw." 

Read about the special meeting. Read a timeline from Cedar Park Church. Read why these reports are appearing on this blog.

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Update on this blog: Time for a pause